Audio Version | Song Credit: The Earth Prelude by Ludovico Einaudi

I was thirteen
When she first
Let me touch her

Years of torment
The dark veil
Came knocking early
On this hearts door

Something about scales
Of deserving
About babies
Who weren’t born equal

​Incessant whispers
Sewing invisible tapestries
Of guilt and shame
Into the nucleus
Of every cell

Year upon year
It Corrodes the heart
Displacing everything
And everyone into
A head so fucked up
And desolate
No creature would
Ever wish to live there

Reduced to a macabre circus
Of circuits and patterns
This body
Moves about landscapes
Here but not here
There but not there

Yet some small pocket
Of it
Still Longs for
Still craves for
The divine

Like a seedling
Buried deep in the soil
This ravaged
Bodily architecture
Is searching
for the light

It comes by the side
Of the M15
In the belly
Of a fluorescently lit
Medic van

Everything
And everyone
Completely quiet
Caught for a tiny moment
In their infinitude

Heart holding it all
She reaches out
And strokes my hand

A tunnel
A light
So bright and soft
It could cut a path home
For every star
in every galaxy

The absence of wrong or right
No need for good or bad
Just pure
Everything

A vessel filling
and filling
And filling
with the thing
It was always missing
But never knew
Until it is time
to come back

To find a way to live here
To find a space
free from pain
In the land of
Being alive

Audio Version  | music credit: I Love You by Riopy
The day that
Time was strangled
Bark unfurled itself
From ancient trees
And the moon
Turned black

Breath caught
In barbed wire
Lost to the lungs
That birthed it

In a few words
Child becomes adult
Heart squeezed
Into a conscious
Kind of oblivion

Soft young body
Now rigid and old
Hands white knuckling
Their way, away
From home
Or was it ever really?

Look through windows
At faces of other children
In homes of other families
But always…Remember to Forget

Then let the elements
Become your eternal guardian
As birds fly backwards
In fifty-two shades of purple sky

As nothing becomes everything
As dreams and reality
Switch places
And all the colours
Sing their long goodbyes.

Fingernail moon
Floating high on
Charcoal sky
Illuminating
Life’s fragility

D'you ever
Imagine
What it’s like
To live down here?

The sound
Of a thousand
Treecreepers
Is waking up
A long, hot
Aching Spring night

Someone is
Duelling with
The shadows
Of himself
In a dark
And forgotten
Alley

While someone else
Takes out the trash
For the
He’s-lost-count
How many time

A child
Tries to sleep
On a rough
Street curb

While a mother
Tries to
Work out
How she’ll feed
Everyone

A farmer
Tries to make
Peace with the
End of rain

While a sister
Hasn’t heard
From a brother
In she-doesn’t-know
How long

A tree
That gave shade
To a hundred people
Is being uprooted
From its home

While a baby just
Opened its lungs
For the very first time

Someone
Got kissed
Again

While a seedling
Pushed its
Head above the soil

A wave
Crashed hard
Upon the land
Again

While an egg
Cracked open
And let something
Living out
From its inside

It’s complicated
Living down here
On the ground
Sometimes

Noisy, messy
Beautiful, dirty
Tactile, heavy
Heartfelt, confusing
​
And so
I wonder
What you see
From up there
Through the glow
Of your thin
And perpetual light

Death stirs thickly
As the faces
Of unborn beings
Encapsulate
My mind

So many hands
Reaching out
For a help
That doesn’t exist

Clutching
Gripping
Grasping
Gasping

The self
That wants to save us
And the self
That knows it can’t

Tonight
They meet
Beneath the light
Of a blood red moon

They duel
And they dance
They cry
And they fall
In sadness
And in surrender

In the distance
Children scream
Mothers hope
Landscapes burn

All around me
Babies
Humans
Love & Fear

Death stirs
It digs
And it strangles

While the self
Goes into battle
Surrounded
By moonlit fire

Death is all
Around me
Before me
Inside me

I cannot beat you
But my
Hands can fight
My heart can love
And my head can pray

I cannot beat you
But I can walk beside
All those who
Fall in your shadow

Walk beside them
Never leave them
As we enter
The future of flames.

Fresh
Smelt the day
You were born

Heavy
The day
The earth’s suffering
Took him away

Too many feelings
The autopsy said

Or a world
Which just can’t
Hold that much pain?

Your tiny heart
It beats so fast
Almost as fast as his did
In those dreadful final hours

I hear your hearts
Beat together
Waking us up
To the breath
Of every child

Feel, little one
Don’t be scared

He felt like you too
Yet nowhere
Was brave enough
To receive it

I know this world
Will break your heart
But a messy, collective love
Will piece it back together

I can hear
Your future crying
Will help you
Grow gardens
From the tears

Can feel your
Future body tensing
To the realisation
Of what is happening
Am ready to
Rock you in my arms

Stay, little one
We can make something
You want to live in and for

Raw but fresh
Tragic yet beautiful
Heartbreaking yet
Lovingly interwoven
A world brave enough to
Hold everything you feel.

Remember the fire
Inside your heart?
Flames and flesh
Can’t co exist
Smoke should
Never meet chest

Today’s so still
It cuts silence
Through bush
Sets motionlessness
Through water
Freezes minds
In harrowed longing
For something
Simpler and easier
Than all This

Flocks of black birds
Circle endlessly
Through residual
Tiny pockets
Of untouched blue
Trying desperately
To break open the sky
So we can all heave
A collective sigh
Of relief

I know this silence
Hear it
Ringing in my ears
The foretelling
Of an impending
Heated Hurt

I feel this silence
And how it stretches
From me
To you
To out beyond forever

Oh force of heat and heart
D’you know how much I fear you?
Yet how ready I am to meet you
With all of my love
And all of my rage?

I hear the future
Whispering
Howling
Sobbing
Hoping

​Sometimes it’s screaming
Sometimes it’s standing right beside me
Sometimes it is me
And my hot and heavy heart.

Let me help you
Embrace the ocean’s
Age-old longing
To wash away
Your sadness

Let its waves
Metabolise
This deep
And infinite
Sorrow

I’ve seen what Pain does
When left to live
Inside a human

How it
Sculpts the fibres
Shifts the chambers
And alters the rhythm
Of a beating heart

How it
Rewires the neural pathways
And reshapes the highways
That help the body
To feel whole

How it
Takes your spirit hostage
And suffocates your soul

Roar, cry, jump, shout
Paint, write, dance, fly

Hand your pain
To the earth now
She can take it
Understands it
More intimately
Than you think

Give this suffering
The freedom
Its creators
Never let you have

Give this shame
The words
That terrible silence
Told you
Could never be spoken

See that dove
Flying high above
A delicate crescent moon

Watch this star
Shooting through the night
Breaking up the heavy darkness

Touch that leaf
Sailing peacefully
Upon treacherous waters

Feel that sun
Asking us to slow down
And sit with it
In silence

Let yourself
Be touched
By Life’s many gentle longings
To help you heal.