I'm Charlie. Human. Facilitator. Activist. Therapist. Student of Life.
|
How can one word
Capture my complexity, And enclose my life? Why do you need To capture And enclose me Anyway? I am trying to fit myself Inside your language Within your boxes But I can’t Find myself In there Can’t find peace when It has to be pinned down I am sorry I don’t mean to elude Or confuse you I am sorry That my soul Doesn’t conform I am sorry I don’t mean To reject you I am sorry That I can’t find Answers Within your walls I wonder If my fluidity Is my freedom Encircling and enclosing Your boxes and your labels So rapidly That they cease To hold any meaning What am I Who am I And why does it need a word?
0 Comments
Stuck in the crevasse
My thighs and forearms Press out against the Cold hard rock Every ounce of my energy Pushing to hold tight in this In-between world Safe, but not safe Not bound to one side Or another Free to be me, Or am I? Pushing to stay alive To not fall Into the vortex of normalites The filing cabinets of binaries The archives of mediocrity But musn’t I choose? To be one way or another? Walk this path or that? My mind burns With the pressure To make a decision My thighs are sweating Muscles searing Skin chafing Against the cold hard Rock face of decision The pain of living In the in-between I can’t stay stuck here forever Or can I? Up above, the crowds jeer Edging me on to find my edge And make a choice This way or that Yes or no Stay or go How can I please them all? One side of the crevasse stares at me Pulling me towards it I feel a moment of clarity A moment of peace Go there, go towards it Make a choice My heart slows a little My breath calms a little Then the other side tugs back Don’t go there, it says And tries to hug me tight towards it I slip a little My heart sinks My grip loosens My strength weakens I sink down the crevasse Sharp rocks lodging in my throat Suffocating my breath There is no peace in this place Nowhere to relax or be me I am wedged between two realities And neither is good Trapped between traps Caught in a crevasse of painful indecision Where the decision leads nowhere Everything looks real and difficult But everything is nothing In this tired dark place I can’t hold on anymore So I let my body go loose Once rigid, now soft I stop trying so hard I stop listening to the crowds Stop caring what they say Or what they think Stop feeling the sweat Stop resisting the pain Stop indulging the paralysis I sink, deep down Into the valley of nothingness And just breathe The crowds go quiet My body loses form There’s no pain here I stop trying to choose Between two opposites That want to crush me I stop feeling the need To define myself by others’ standards I stop feeling like I am lacking And instead I Just Am Me, in my complexity Me, in my simplicity Me, as everything Me, as nothing Me, defined by no-one Not even myself Free as a bird, Just me. I look
At the world With “not enough” Eyes There should be Fewer clouds In the sky More peace Less war More flowers Fewer graves More music Less death This seems Fair enough But then I listen To what you say How you move What you do And labels and Stereotypes Fly Through My mind I try to catch them Bury them Cast them away But they fly Around, like kites Society clutching Their strings Beyond my reach Or so it seems I get distracted By the colours And shapes The way they Move Endlessly And I judge you I try to focus on The spaces in between The nothingness The place where Everyone can be Themselves But I can’t And still I judge Letting those kites Of Judgement Fly higher Dart harder Clamouring For my attention I let them cloud my world Cloud my mind I put my hands Across my eyes Trying to quiet it All down awhile Trying to calm things So I can just see you For who you are But the darkness Brings me back To the origins Of all this When the world Goes quiet All I can see Is myself All I can do Is judge Myself And then I know That I am you And you are me That these kites Of judgement Were created In my mind And that the world Looks magnificent That you look Extraordinary When I have the courage To stop judging myself |
Charlie WoodHuman. Activist. Facilitator. Therapist. Student of Life. Trying to do my bit to build a kinder world. Archives
December 2024
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
