I'm Charlie. Human. Facilitator. Activist. Therapist. Student of Life.
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Stuck in the crevasse
My thighs and forearms Press out against the Cold hard rock Every ounce of my energy Pushing to hold tight in this In-between world Safe, but not safe Not bound to one side Or another Free to be me, Or am I? Pushing to stay alive To not fall Into the vortex of normalites The filing cabinets of binaries The archives of mediocrity But musn’t I choose? To be one way or another? Walk this path or that? My mind burns With the pressure To make a decision My thighs are sweating Muscles searing Skin chafing Against the cold hard Rock face of decision The pain of living In the in-between I can’t stay stuck here forever Or can I? Up above, the crowds jeer Edging me on to find my edge And make a choice This way or that Yes or no Stay or go How can I please them all? One side of the crevasse stares at me Pulling me towards it I feel a moment of clarity A moment of peace Go there, go towards it Make a choice My heart slows a little My breath calms a little Then the other side tugs back Don’t go there, it says And tries to hug me tight towards it I slip a little My heart sinks My grip loosens My strength weakens I sink down the crevasse Sharp rocks lodging in my throat Suffocating my breath There is no peace in this place Nowhere to relax or be me I am wedged between two realities And neither is good Trapped between traps Caught in a crevasse of painful indecision Where the decision leads nowhere Everything looks real and difficult But everything is nothing In this tired dark place I can’t hold on anymore So I let my body go loose Once rigid, now soft I stop trying so hard I stop listening to the crowds Stop caring what they say Or what they think Stop feeling the sweat Stop resisting the pain Stop indulging the paralysis I sink, deep down Into the valley of nothingness And just breathe The crowds go quiet My body loses form There’s no pain here I stop trying to choose Between two opposites That want to crush me I stop feeling the need To define myself by others’ standards I stop feeling like I am lacking And instead I Just Am Me, in my complexity Me, in my simplicity Me, as everything Me, as nothing Me, defined by no-one Not even myself Free as a bird, Just me.
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Time warps
Pulling me back Pushing me forward I am a thousand Different ages Embroiled in one Back Then Broke my heart Into a million tiny pieces Hiding the fragments Everywhere Now, I am nowhere, no one Time is ephemeral This tightrope One of infinite strings Comprising the deep black universe I am here, but not here I am there, but not there Is time a line Or is it a circle? Is it a sphere Or is it a spiral? Wrapping and squeezing Us tighter within its core Flashbacks, memories Here and now, indistinguishable Past and present, married Heart and mind, splintered Drifting on the wind Anchors long gone. |
Charlie WoodHuman. Activist. Facilitator. Therapist. Student of Life. Trying to do my bit to build a kinder world. Archives
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