I'm Charlie. Human. Facilitator. Activist. Therapist. Student of Life.
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The alarm screams
Each beep Cutting a painful Incision into my brain I reach for my phone Through the cold and dark To shut off That piercing Soul-destroying Sound Get up! My mind screams Get up Now! My body becomes A tight elastic band Eyes previously fairy lights Are now lamps Heart racing Mind revving It’s 6am and I am already Behind The cogs in my head Are spinning At too many miles per hour Clanging, whirring, banging Against my skull My head hurts As I wake to the reality Of this life I sit at my desk And open up Pandora’s box A million tabs A billion unread messages A trillion emails that Need a response Now My chest is pounding Shoulders rising A sip of dark Black coffee The heat warms my chest The steam and aroma Fill my nostrils A moment of calm My heart slows briefly As the caffeine Seeps into my blood And then Everything rises at once Like an orchestral crescendo Heart pumping harder Lungs expanding like A hot air balloon filling with heat The veins in my forehead Pulsate like a Beat boxer Rocking a baby in a crib So it can do What it has to do today Without even feeling it Back and forth Back and forth The momentum in my body Takes over My mind takes a backseat All the reasons not to be here Not to be doing this Not to be scraping From the depth of my soul To eek out another day Of backbreaking work All the reasons not to think of The million shattered neurons That will eventually collapse And bring me faster to death Than I should have arrived All of the reasons not to Keep doing this bullshit Are gone And I am at one With the absurdity And destruction Of it all.
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At the beginning
I sweat The perspiration Of anticipation The fear of Not Knowing What’s to come Pain grips my body Clenches my teeth As I imagine The maze ahead Alone in the mystery No one to help me Find my way Through this mess Panic strikes my chest I can’t think straight See straight I cannot take The tiny steps Required to set This thing in motion Tiny steps feel Like giant leaps Beyond my reach I stand, frozen I fear starting Because I don’t know Where the ending is I fear starting because I haven’t started yet I fear starting because I can’t accept The imperfect way I know I will Traverse this maze I fear starting Because…. The excuses Pour from my mind Like a waterfall Cementing inaction Overwhelming my mind I can’t think straight I can’t see straight So I take the first step I begin And the chaos In my mind Slowly Dies down |
Charlie WoodHuman. Activist. Facilitator. Therapist. Student of Life. Trying to do my bit to build a kinder world. Archives
December 2024
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