These Scars

Teeth chattering
Hairs on end
Indecision
Fear within

The words 
Were spoken 
So long ago
Yet cut like glass
Through my flesh
Deep and fresh

My chest is pounding
Heart is racing
Every word’s 
A trigger
 
Eyes wide open
Pupils exploding
Waiting for something
But what?

These scars 
Are killing me
Slowly
 
When I run far away
It feels special
Feels good
Feels relieving
But it’s only fleeting

Because I can’t escape
The burn of these scars

They cling and envelop
Like an evil lover

I scratch at them
Yell at them
But they’re still here
 
Every time I compromised
Swallowed a little lie
Food for these scars
And the pain they inflict

My mind is praying 
To a god it doesn’t believe in
That someday 
The sun will wash these scars away
So that I can be free
From the prison I’ve put myself in
 
Where hands are gripped,
And nails are sunk
Shoulders tensed
Jaws clenched
And souls worn
 
I wish I could 
Love these scars
Away